Dance With the Devil
by Southern Steel
Summary: don't want to be here, standing behind the chanting ranks of Saxon brutes. I want to be back in the only place that ever felt like home. I want to be among the men I had considered brothers. I want to be back in Camelot... Spoilers for 5X11 on.


_**When I first listened to "Dance with the Devil" by Breaking Benjamin, I immediatly thought of Mordred in the final episode. SO IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN 5X11 OR ON, DO NOT READ THIS STORY! And this is what came of it. :) Didn't turn out like I wanted, but it works. I just love Mordred, even if he did do what he did. :( :) **_

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Merlin or the lyrics to "Dance with the Devil." They each belong to their respective owners and all I own is the computer this was written on. **_

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_Dance With the Devil_

The wind blows my hair, casting a chill in the night. The moon is rising, it's light reflecting light down to the field, onto the barren rocks and dirt of this place. Torches flare up, passed from hand to hand until the ranks are lit up.

_Here I stand, helpless and left for dead.  
Close your eyes, so many days go by.  
Easy to find what's wrong, harder to find what's right. _

I take a deep breath and close my eyes, letting the wind release my tension. I don't want to be here, standing behind the chanting ranks of Saxon brutes. I want to be back in the only place that ever felt like home. I want to be among the men I had considered brothers. I want to be back in Camelot, sleeping in my warm bed or having a night in the tavern, laughing carelessly as Gwaine gets drunker and drunker.

I shake my head and open my eyes. I look out over the men before me, forcing the thoughts of Camelot back into my mind. Camelot is no longer my home, those men are no longer my brothers. They never were. How could they when they all just stood by as Kara was murdered?

_I believe in you, I can show you that I can see right through all your empty lies.  
I won't stay long, in this world so wrong!_

Kara. Her face fills my mind and I smile sadly, the pain of her loss aching anew in my chest. I miss her more then I can say, even more then the family I had found in Camelot. It is for her that I stand here, opposite of Arthur and the knights, opposite of my destiny.

My destiny. I had known I was destined to kill Arthur only a short time, and it was that destiny that had driven me from the druids. I was only a child the first time I met Arthur and Morgana, but I never forgot their kindness, their compassion, for a wounded druid boy who, by the laws and customs of Camelot, been executed. They had saved me, and part of me had begun to love each of them as if they were my own family.

And then they had told me the truth. They told me I was destined to kill Arthur, to side with Morgana and ruin any hope of Albion or magic's return. I denied it, tried to run, but it seems you can't escape destiny.

_Say Goodbye! As we dance with the devil tonight.  
Don't you dare look at him in the eye,  
As we dance with the devil tonight!_

The wind dies away and I look up one last time, meeting Morgana's eyes before the battle begins. Their is a manic glaze covering her eye, her hair twisting crazily around her, her lips quivering in excitement. I swallow nervously, trying to push back the pain as I remembered the old Morgana, the true Morgana.

What had happened to the woman who had taken me in, protected me, treated me? The woman who had held such compassion, such love? When, how, why, had she been replaced with this vengeful maniac before me?

A voice suddenly yells, breaking into my thoughts. I can't understand the words, but they are the breaking point and both armies surge forward, clashing into one. The sounds of metal on metal, swords entering flesh, screams of the wounded and battle-crazed echoes across the field.

I take one short moment to steel myself, Kara's smiling face filling my mind, and then I join the fray. Time seems to slow as I slash with my sword, barely pausing my steps as I fight my way forward, fight my way to the man I once so respected.

He killed my friend, my love, and now destiny has reared its ugly head. I was a fool to fight it, to run. Another man falls to my enchanted blade and I move on, confident in my victory. I fight for destiny and so I can not lose.

And then I'm surrounded, knights all around me, and doubt sets in. I fix my grip on my sword and ready myself to fight, but a blinding white light flashes and the men are knocked to the ground, dead. I stand there in confusion and look up to find my savior. Morgana holds her head high and gives me a simple nod. I nod back, and move on, willing myself to ignore the sence of foreboding that settles on me.

Time runs together as I move on, constantly searching, constantly fighting. And then I see him, kneeling over a fallen knight. I step forward, suddenly aware of my dry cracked lips. An image of Kara flashes before me and I raise my sword.

Arthur suddenly spins, his blade coming up to meet mine. I block it just as easy as when I practiced with him at Camelot. He gets to his feet and pulls back, ready to continue, but then he pauses. A look passes across his face-sorrow? Surprise? I can't tell. But he pauses and I meet his eyes.

For a second, I don't believe I can do it. This man had always treated me as an equal, as a brother. He had offered hope, hope for myself, hope for my kind, hope for the kingdom. He was a good man, a fair man. How can I end that when he has so much left to do?

And then Kara's image flashes before my eyes once more and I know why. He murderered her for standing up for what she believed. He never gave her a chance, never gave her a hope. His fairness applies only to those like him. Destiny must come to pass and I am the hand of destiny.

_Trembling, crawling across my skin.  
Feeling your cold dead eyes, stealing the life of mine. _

I don't even blink as my sword enters his stomach with no resistance. I pull it back out and he gasps, eyes still locked on mine. I can only watch, sword by my side, as he falls to his knee. I look down at him and the full impact of what I have done fills me. But it had to be done, surely he must know that? It was my _destiny! _

And yet, I can't help but feel sorrow and regret. Arthur was my brother and I betrayed him, even though he betrayed me first. I take a breath and force myself to remain calm, to ignore the sudden trembling that crawls across my skin.

_"You gave me no choice," _I say, hoping my trembling does not come into my voice.

The words are barely off my lips when he suddenly springs to his feet and his sword is in my stomach. I can feel it, cutting, slicing, and the sudden agony fills me. I can't help but breath heavily, constantly looking into his eyes.

_I believe in you, I can show you that I can see right through all your empty lies.  
I won't last long, in this world so wrong.  
Hold on. Hold On.  
Goodbye._

With a sudden movement, he twists his sword and I gasp, my eyes widening in pain and I know I am done. But even as the realization that I am dying fills me, I know that he to is dying for none can survive an enchanted blade. He pulls the blade from me, but the pain remains.

He looks at me without care and I can see the betrayal in his eyes. I can feel my life leaving me and I can't help but smile. My life was never my own, this moment was the only reason I ever exsisted. Though he will never know, I smile because he has let me free. My dance with the devil is through.

As my smile fades and my eyes closed, I feel myself falling to the ground and a final thought enters my mind: _I am free. _


End file.
